I Left the Abuse, But It Followed Me Into the Courtroom

When I finally walked away from my abuser, I thought I was free. I believed leaving meant peace. I thought I could finally breathe, rebuild, and start living again. But NO ONE tells you that sometimes the abuse doesn’t stop when you leave. It simply changes form.

The bruises heal, but the control continues.

The shouting fades, but the manipulation grows quieter and more strategic. And for me, the courtroom became the new battlefield.

⚖️ The Abuse That Never Ended

I entered the legal system expecting protection.

I believed that truth mattered, that evidence would speak for itself, that justice would finally give me rest. Instead, I discovered that a narcissist can weaponize the law with the same precision they once used to weaponize their words.

Every motion filed was another form of control.

Every accusation was another attempt to humiliate and exhaust me. Each court date felt like reopening a wound I was trying so hard to heal.

I wish I could say I always handled it gracefully, but I didn’t. The constant attacks pushed me into corners where I made mistakes, said things I wish I hadn’t, and reacted out of hurt instead of peace.

I tried to fight him the way he fought me, but that only pulled me out of my character.

Then I tried the opposite. I convinced myself that if I was overly kind, if I stayed patient, if I practiced the old saying “kill them with kindness,” it would stop. But kindness does not work on someone who thrives on cruelty. You cannot outlove a narcissist. You cannot outkind someone whose entire purpose is to make you miserable.

💬 A Life Still Under Attack

It has been eight years since I left, and he still finds new ways to come for me.

He earns six figures and still refuses to pay court-ordered child support. He has two more children, yet they seem to exist only when he needs to perform for a judge.

He has tried to destroy every part of my life.

He has attempted to get me fired from my jobs and reported my businesses to the FDIC and local government agencies. He has emailed my employers, friends, and even my family, spreading lies to isolate me from everyone who loves me. He has sent messages meant to create tension in my marriage, trying to convince my husband that I am the problem.

Each time my phone vibrates with a new email or court alert, my chest tightens. My body braces for battle even when all I want is peace. Living in constant anxiety has become my reality, but I refuse to let that anxiety paralyze me.

✈️ When I Wanted to Disappear

There was a time I dreamed of disappearing completely. In that dream, I left the country with my husband, leaving my son behind with his father. I imagined starting a new life somewhere quiet, somewhere no one could find me, counting down the years until my son turned eighteen.

I pictured sending him a letter on his eighteenth birthday, explaining everything, telling him how much I loved him and why I had to go.

That dream was born from desperation, not selfishness. It came from the unbearable weight of being hunted by someone who refused to let me live in peace or operate with putting our sons best interests first! I did not want to die, shit….i love myself, my family, my friends, and most of all my son too much for that! However, I wanted to stop existing in a world where my ex could still reach me.

But I stayed, why? Because my son deserves to know that his mother never ran from him, she fought for him. And because the people who truly love me refused to let me disappear.

💜 The Power of My Support System

I would not have survived without my circle.

My family, my friends, and my husband have seen the truth with their own eyes. They have watched this man’s manipulation unfold and stood firm beside me when others doubted my story. They have lifted me on the days I could not stand.

They have reminded me that I am more than what he tried to break.

Their support is the reason I am still here.

Their belief in me rebuilt my strength. And their love showed me that even in darkness, light finds its way through.

🧍🏽‍♀️Strength Doesn’t Always Look Strong

People see me now and think I am powerful because I survived. They see the author, the businesswoman, the speaker, the mother, and they assume I am healed. But strength is not always loud. Sometimes strength is crying in the shower so your child never sees you break.

It is opening an email from the court and still getting up to cook dinner. It is choosing grace over revenge even when you have every reason to be angry. Strength is continuing to live when every part of you wants to hide.

✨Reclaiming My Voice

Freedom did not come from a judge or a court order. It came from choosing myself. It came from deciding that his control ends where my healing begins.

Writing Becoming a Boss Bitch gave me my voice back. It reminded me that silence protects the abuser, not the survivor. Now I use my story to remind other women that they are not alone. They are not crazy, dramatic, or bitter for demanding peace. They are brave.

Quote from my book:

“I didn’t just escape a man. I escaped a system designed to keep me silent.”

🌅 To Every Survivor Reading This

You are not your trauma!

You are not the lies they tell about you!

You are not defined by their narrative or their control!

You are the woman who walked through hell and refused to stay there. You are the mother who chose peace for her child even when chaos surrounded her. You are the survivor who is learning to breathe again, one deep breath at a time.

Yes, I still live with anxiety. I still wake up wondering if another motion has been filed. I still fight fear every time I step into a courtroom that feels like his playground. But fear no longer owns me.

Faith does!!

Strength does!!

Love does!!

I survived him. I am surviving the system. And no matter how many times they try to silence me, I will continue to rise. UNBROKEN!

🌷Becoming Whole Again

I survived him. I am surviving the system. And no matter how many times life tries to silence me, I will continue to rise, unbroken.

When I wrote Becoming a Boss Bitch, it was never about building a brand or chasing success. It was about survival. It was about finding my way back to myself after years of being silenced, broken, and misunderstood.

Every page came from the same place this story comes from: truth, pain, and the quiet strength that lives in every woman who has had to rebuild her life from the ground up.

This book is for the woman who still wakes up with the weight of what she has endured but keeps choosing to fight for her peace. It is for the woman learning to love herself through the scars, the fear, and the exhaustion. It is for the woman trying to believe that peace is possible even after chaos.

Becoming a Boss Bitch is not a book about perfection. It is a reflection of resilience. It is a mirror for your own strength, a reminder that even when life tries to bury you, you still have roots deep enough to rise again.

You are not defined by what broke you.

You are defined by how you continue to bloom.

✨Author’s Note

With every story I share, my hope is not just to be heard but to remind someone out there that they are not alone. Healing is not linear. It is messy, it is painful, and it often feels unfair, but it is possible.

To every woman fighting to find her peace after pain, I see you. Keep standing. Keep speaking. Keep choosing yourself, even on the days it feels impossible.

With love and resilience,

Natasha Hewlett Mann

Author of Becoming a Boss Bitch & Becoming a Boss Babe

Get your copy of “Becoming A Boos Bitch”

and Becoming a Boss Babe