Not Everyone Clapping for You…Is Happy for You

There comes a point in life—usually after a few hard lessons—when you realize something that changes everything:

Not everyone in your circle is rooting for you.

Some people clap because they’re polite.

Some clap because they’re watching.

And some clap because they never thought you’d actually make it this far.

As you grow, heal, and start choosing yourself, the room changes. The energy shifts. The smiles don’t always reach people’s eyes anymore. That’s when discernment stops being optional and starts becoming survival.

Jealousy Has a Sound — and It’s Quiet

You can’t be friends with someone who is jealous of you or what you have. Not your joy. Not your confidence. Not your growth.

Jealousy doesn’t always announce itself. Sometimes it whispers. It’s the friend who gets quiet when you share good news. The one who suddenly has opinions when you stop over-explaining yourself. The one who supports you—until your success forces them to confront what they haven’t done for themselves.

A jealous friend isn’t competing with you.

They’re competing with the version of themselves they never became.

And resentment like that always finds a way to leak out.

Being Nice Doesn’t Mean I’m Your Friend

Let’s be clear, because too many people confuse kindness with access:

Just because I’m nice to you doesn’t make me your friend.

It means I’m polite.

It means I’ve healed enough not to be cruel.

It means I know how to move through the world with grace.

Friendship requires trust, alignment, and emotional safety—not convenience, not history, not proximity. My energy is not public property. My peace is not community space. And my life is not a group project.

My Circle Didn’t Shrink by Accident

Here’s the truth people struggle to sit with:

“My circle didn’t shrink by accident — my peace demanded it.” NHM

Growth costs you people. Healing offends those who benefited from your silence. Boundaries expose who was comfortable with you only when you were over-giving.

Some people are meant to walk with you for a season. Some are lessons disguised as friendships. And a very few—the rare ones—are built to last a lifetime.

Trying to force permanence where there is no alignment only creates resentment.

Triggered Friendships Are the Most Dangerous

The most painful betrayals don’t come from strangers. They come from people who know your story, your struggles, and your soft spots.

Triggered friends are the ones who smile in your face but speak your name with bitterness when you’re not around. They call you “changed” when you finally set boundaries. They feel entitled to the old version of you because the new one no longer serves them.

They don’t hate you.

They hate what your growth reflects back to them.

And nothing is more dangerous than someone who feels entitled to who you used to be.

The Older I Get, the Less Access I Give

As I grow older, my circle gets smaller—and my peace gets louder.

I don’t want chaos disguised as loyalty. I don’t want relationships that require me to dim myself to be accepted. I don’t want friendships built on obligation instead of alignment.

I want honesty.

I want reciprocity.

I want people who clap without comparison and support without condition.

Quality over quantity isn’t a cliché—it’s a strategy for survival.

Your Move

Now it’s time to pause and be honest—with yourself.

Take a moment and do this:

• Audit your circle. Who has access to your energy, and why?

• Name one boundary you’ve been avoiding because you didn’t want to upset someone.

• Release one relationship—mentally or physically—that no longer feels safe, supportive, or aligned with who you’re becoming.

  
  

Then ask yourself this question and don’t rush the answer:

Am I holding on to people out of love… or out of fear of letting go?

If this resonated, share this post with someone who’s learning to protect their peace, or leave a comment with the word PEACE as a commitment to choosing yourself—without guilt.

Your circle doesn’t need to be bigger.

It needs to be better.

One Last Thing

If this message stirred something in you—if it made you pause, reflect, or quietly say “that hit”—then this work goes deeper.

My book, Becoming a Boss Bitch, was written for women who are done over-giving, done shrinking, and done explaining their boundaries. It’s for the ones learning how to choose themselves without guilt, protect their peace without apology, and heal after being hurt by people they trusted.

This isn’t about becoming cold.It’s about becoming clear.It’s about learning when to be kind—and when to be done.

If you’re ready to continue this journey of self-respect, discernment, and growth, you can get your copy of Becoming a Boss Bitch here:

👉 Buy the book on Amazon:https://www.amazon.com/Becoming-Boss-Bitch-Natasha-Hewlett/dp/B0FND7BKPL

Because protecting your peace isn’t a phase.It’s a lifestyle.